I learned to ignore M. Night Shyamalan's various antics a long time ago; I adopted a "live and let live" attitude like one would assign to a insane dictator in a third world country. Occasionally one might hear about how the crazy dictator killed half his populace in boiling cow dung and be like "Oh man, that sounds horrible. Glad that wasn't me!" But then one morning you awake to find the crazy dictator from another country has taken a giant reeking shit on your couch. Avatar: The Last Airbender is that giant reeking shit. And really, the only recourse one has when something like this happens is jump on your webzone and post a scathing blog post about it. So here goes!
I do not understand why Hollywood always does this. They take a popular story that is known for its personable characters and colorful backstory and basically remove all the parts that made it good. (Well, I sort of understand. Does the phrase 'lowest common denominator' mean anything to you?) I realize part of this is due to writers having to take an eight-hundred page book or 23-episode TV show and shrink it it into a movie that people can watch without their bladders exploding. That said, some of the biggest grossing movies in human history have been extremely long. Does Titanic ring a bell? The Last Airbender movie had a lot of ground to cover for its first movie and really could have used an extra hour to do it in. Extra time to actually introduce the characters and let them grow. Time to let the audience understand who the characters are and what they represent instead of watching fancily dressed automatons moving at a breakneck speed through the plot with no real reason for the audience to give a shit.
So, now that you have the required time to tell most of the story as it has already been told, DON'T FUCK WITH IT. Think about it- assuming you're making a movie based on a really popular story (such as this), you were just handed a manuscript approved by the biggest focus group you're ever going to have- nearly your entire fan base! You want to make money? All you have to do is retell the goddamn story- the hard part is already done! No need to worry about if people are going to like such-and-such a character (they already do!), or if they can identify themselves with the hero (they already have!). Just film the damn movie as is and rake in the big bucks.
Instead of filming a sure-fire hit with an already large fan base, M. Night Shyamalan's idea was to totally butcher the film and alienate the fan base. Lets change the story so it makes less sense! ("The fire nation doesn't want to live under the rule of the spirits. That's why they're so afraid of the Avatar." WHY? What does that have to do with anything!?) After that, lets take all the personality from the original characters and replace it with crap actors who can't even pronounce their own names right and seem to be reading from a teleprompter. ("The fire nation is here. With their machines.") I could sit here and rant all day about all the stupid shit in this movie, but why bother? My only hope for writing all this is that some movie executive responsible for this atrocity happens upon my rant and while reading it, an anvil falls on his head which causes him to forget everything about making movies and assumes what he's currently reading is the holy bible of his profession.
So, all that being said, fuck you M. Night Shyamalan. Fuck the people at Nickelodeon that hired you, fuck the people who were supposed to quality control this shit, and fuck the actors that obviously never watched a single episode. Fuck the 'Best Key Grip Boy' for not suddenly screaming "This movie is shit!" and running out of the building. My apologies to the key grip boy if that actually happened.
In closing, if you've never watched Avatar: The Last Airbender, do not see this movie. Go watch the cartoon. If you have seen the cartoon, forget this movie ever existed and re-watch the cartoon again instead.