Chaos + logic = net

I learned to ignore M. Night Shyamalan's various antics a long time ago; I adopted a "live and let live" attitude like one would assign to a insane dictator in a third world country. Occasionally one might hear about how the crazy dictator killed half his populace in boiling cow dung and be like "Oh man, that sounds horrible. Glad that wasn't me!" But then one morning you awake to find the crazy dictator from another country has taken a giant reeking shit on your couch. Avatar: The Last Airbender is that giant reeking shit. And really, the only recourse one has when something like this happens is jump on your webzone and post a scathing blog post about it. So here goes!

I do not understand why Hollywood always does this. They take a popular story that is known for its personable characters and colorful backstory and basically remove all the parts that made it good. (Well, I sort of understand. Does the phrase 'lowest common denominator' mean anything to you?) I realize part of this is due to writers having to take an eight-hundred page book or 23-episode TV show and shrink it it into a movie that people can watch without their bladders exploding. That said, some of the biggest grossing movies in human history have been extremely long. Does Titanic ring a bell? The Last Airbender movie had a lot of ground to cover for its first movie and really could have used an extra hour to do it in. Extra time to actually introduce the characters and let them grow. Time to let the audience understand who the characters are and what they represent instead of watching fancily dressed automatons moving at a breakneck speed through the plot with no real reason for the audience to give a shit.

So, now that you have the required time to tell most of the story as it has already been told, DON'T FUCK WITH IT. Think about it- assuming you're making a movie based on a really popular story (such as this), you were just handed a manuscript approved by the biggest focus group you're ever going to have- nearly your entire fan base! You want to make money? All you have to do is retell the goddamn story- the hard part is already done! No need to worry about if people are going to like such-and-such a character (they already do!), or if they can identify themselves with the hero (they already have!). Just film the damn movie as is and rake in the big bucks.

Instead of filming a sure-fire hit with an already large fan base, M. Night Shyamalan's idea was to totally butcher the film and alienate the fan base. Lets change the story so it makes less sense! ("The fire nation doesn't want to live under the rule of the spirits. That's why they're so afraid of the Avatar." WHY? What does that have to do with anything!?) After that, lets take all the personality from the original characters and replace it with crap actors who can't even pronounce their own names right and seem to be reading from a teleprompter. ("The fire nation is here. With their machines.") I could sit here and rant all day about all the stupid shit in this movie, but why bother? My only hope for writing all this is that some movie executive responsible for this atrocity happens upon my rant and while reading it, an anvil falls on his head which causes him to forget everything about making movies and assumes what he's currently reading is the holy bible of his profession.

So, all that being said, fuck you M. Night Shyamalan. Fuck the people at Nickelodeon that hired you, fuck the people who were supposed to quality control this shit, and fuck the actors that obviously never watched a single episode. Fuck the 'Best Key Grip Boy' for not suddenly screaming "This movie is shit!" and running out of the building. My apologies to the key grip boy if that actually happened.

In closing, if you've never watched Avatar: The Last Airbender, do not see this movie. Go watch the cartoon. If you have seen the cartoon, forget this movie ever existed and re-watch the cartoon again instead.

Happy new year everybody. With the advent of 2010 brings the beginning of actual development in PISS. Finally.

I've spent many hours over the last year hashing and rehashing various gameplay elements and writing down ideas. I won't promise what I've written down thus far will be excellent or fun, and in fact I know there are some older areas of gameplay that need to be rethought in light of other changes I've made in the last couple months. Currently, I figure I can do this in parallel since I believe I have most of the important ideas nailed down. We'll see about that.

As I stated a long time ago, the majority of development both on the server side and client side will be done in Python. My choice of Python is mostly due to the fact that I find the language interesting and I want to play with it more, its fairly cross-platform by nature, and because it should be plenty powerful to handle what I have in mind. Having never used the language in a serious project before, I'm sure I'll find out all kinds of crazy things and probably lose much hair. What a strange hobby I have.

I'd like to say that updates will be more forthcoming now that development has started but that would be an obvious lie. Besides, it's not like many people find that kind of stuff interesting around these parts.

Let me start this off by saying that I love Moonbase Commander. It was a niche game; hardly known to the general populace, but loved by those who played it.

It was never meant for online play by the original designer; it was mainly a LAN game with Gamespy bolted onto it by the publisher like an ugly pimple. Despite the relatively small gathering this game had, fans worked tirelessly to create various game tools to make it even better. Gamespy was deposited in the toilet like the ugly turd it is in favor of a much easier to use direct IP system. After that, a couple people created something that still puts me in awe- a really well done random map maker that used a string of characters to not only recreate the needed random map on other player's computers but the host's IP as well. My hat goes off to those who enabled me and my friends to enjoy so many hours flinging various objects at each other on the moon. Sadly, Microsoft's newer OS versions haven't agreed with the game, and it's been in a pretty steady decline.

To enable my friends and I to play it once again, I have crafted a virtual pc image using Sun's VirtualBox product. There are quite a few virtual PC products on the market (including Microsoft's confusingly named Virtual PC, the worst of the bunch in my testing) but the one I found that works best for gaming is Sun's. This is mainly due to a single reason- it was the only product I tested that could stretch a game with a low resolution (think Starcraft's 640x480) to my monitor. Granted, it's just adjusting the resolution on my PC, but that's still better than the other products that just put a huge nasty black border around the game and call it good.

However, how to do this wasn't very intuitive; it can't be done at all from the GUI. For those also looking for how to do this (I saw a lot of people trying to figure it out in various forums) simply use the VBoxSDL.exe program in your host's installation directory. This is a command-line utility that can start virutal machines with various options, namely being the -fullscreen option. Hopefully this post helps somebody trying to figure this out.

Despite the ongoing insanity mentioned a couple posts ago, development is still ongoing, albeit slower. While the slowness can partially be attributed to moving, the fact that I'm working on the combat AI mechanics is probably the bigger problem.

Since this is a simultaneous turn-based game, computer controlled battles are the only feasible way of resolving battles. Not wanting to just base the fights on "all ships attack the nearest ship until it dies," I've tried to give players control of what their ships do; however, there are still a lot of unknown factors. If you set a large, powerful ship with massive guns to attack the nearest target, and that target happens to be a fast-moving agile fighter, what happens? I wouldn't want the large ship attempting to chase down the smaller ship; it would be like a eagle attempting to catch a housefly- unlikely and pointless even if it happened. However, I feel that having ships be omniscient and automatically knowing what ships they should attack is the wrong direction as well.

I get the feeling that battle AI is a problem I'll be tweaking for a long time to come, even after release.

With the purchase of a new(er) house also comes the added responsibility of mowing more lawn. My last house had a tiny plot and I used a small push mower to keep it decent looking. Not so with this one, as it is relatively huge and would probably take me an entire weekend of using a push mower. Thankfully, my parents also have a large yard and have one of those snazzy zero-turn mowers, which they let me borrow.

For those that don't know what they are, zero-turns forgo the common steering wheel for two levers which control each side. Basically, it steers more like a tank (or a Virtual On mech, thanks Sega!) than a car. It took me a few minutes to get used to it, but before long I was zipping everywhere with it. I think my large amount of videogame experience helped there.

One thing I noticed is that the learning curve with these things is more of a learning wall. You either look like a damn professional lawn care specialist or a total tool when you're on these things. There is no in-between.

Also, while I was moving into the house, my new neighbors were having what looked to be a high-school graduation party for one of their kids. Not only did they have one of those giant inflatable things you climb into and bounce around, but they were also doing beer bongs on the front lawn. Best party ever? Perhaps.

Haven't had much time to work on PISS recently, as I've been on two vacations and bought a new house in the last month. Needless to say, my life has been kind of insane, and will probably stay that way until I get everything moved into the new house and settle in. Assuming that ever happens.

I have my doubts.

The vacations were nice. The first was to the Mammoth Caves down in Kentucky. I had never even heard of the place until a few months ago when we decided to plan a trip there with some highschool friends. The caves themselves were very neat, but I think the best parts were seeing the ancient cave man (literally) drawings and petrified poop. I took a fair bit of pictures, but low-light environments (i.e., caves) and compact point-and-shoot cameras don't mix well at all. I like my tiny little camera- it has served me well in a lot of situations and is small enough to easily justify taking on backpacking trips, but christ, I don't think I've ever longed for a nice D90 as much as I did there.

The second trip was a backpacking trip back to Isle Royal. I love that place- it's about as close to wilderness as you can get around here and very beautiful. My camera actually took some decent pictures (at least I think so, I'm only a fledgling camera buff) so I'll be uploading some of the better photographs to flickr or something similar soonish. I received way too many bug bites and hiked over 50 miles while carrying over 40lbs of gear on my back. Yes, this is what I call fun.

As far as the house goes, it's way too fucking huge for two people. I'm not looking forward to cleaning it or keeping it heated in the winter. I would post photographs of it, but frankly I'm embarrassed by how goddamned huge it is. I'll be heading over to wire the whole thing in cat6 tonight. I expect that will be a learning experience for me, since I have never ran wire through finished walls before.

It's been awhile since I last updated this space, but that doesn't mean I've been sitting on my haunches. While development has slowed down somewhat since I started getting into the hard areas of how the game will function, I've been making some progress.

The fact I've been working on this for months fairly consistently gives me confidence that I'll see it through to the end. I just hope my ideas are actually worth a damn. They say that your first few games will suck no matter what- which is why you're supposed to start small and work your way up from there. I honestly think I would be a little devastated if this game sucks, since I've been working so hard on it.

Development is still ongoing, although actually using the word "development" might be strong since all I'm doing right now is just writing down how the game will work. This process was going pretty quick at first, but once I started getting deep into the mechanics, it got a hell of a lot tougher.

I have the sneaking suspicion that I'm making this game far too realistic.

I've decided that the name should be Pews In Sub-Space. Partly because of the acronym, partly because I find the name hilarious, but mostly because I'm curious what kind of search terms my site will record having a link to "PISS Wiki" on the front page. Also, because as far as I know, it's not taken.

So, yay.

Twenty-five solid minutes of previews.

Super Dad: zzz
Super Dad: Oops, looks like I feel asleep while holding a picture of my hot, underage daughter who now lives with my ex-wife and her super-rich new dad. I do not find this creepy. Oh well, time to go buy some super expensive karaoke machine from some guy with a towel on his head and a gross beard so I can give it to her as a birthday present today. I have already memorized the manual in preparation for this.
Towel Beard: Here is your stupid karaoke machine. I hope for the sake of your ego that your daughter's new rich dad doesn't totally upstage you by getting her something like a horse.
Super Dad: I will now use my Super Dad powers to wrap this karaoke box with the best wrapping job in the history of man. This basically just involves me fiercely staring at the wrapping paper and forcing it to bend to my will.

Super Dad: I am now at a birthday party so huge that they had to split it into two separate parties; one for kids and other fun people and one for washed-up dads.
Super Bitch: Oh hay Super Dad, I hate you but thanks for coming to your kid's birthday party. You can put your gift over in this pile so I can hopefully throw it away or something equally evil.
Daughter: *SQUEEEEE*
Daughter launches from a catapult or something and lands on Super Dad but he is too bad ass to fall over.
Super Dad: Here is your crappy gift. I spent a lot of money on this so please don't throw it on the ground when your new rich dad brings out your horse.
Horse: Haha, pwned.
Daughter: **SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE**
Karaoke Machine: I'll just sit here forgotten if that's fine with you guys. OK? Cool.

Super Dad: Now I am at a concert guarding some stupid hanna-montana wannabie with all my ex-military friends.
Fans: RAAARRRRRRRR
Super Dad: Oh noes, lets run to the car.
Guy with a knife: I'ma gonna stab yooouuuuuuu.
Super Dad: Haha, I will knock you out with my patented Vulcan-Nerve Punch that I will use throughout the whole movie. I can easily knock out any bad guy with this technique.
Guy with a knife: Oh that is total bullshi- *hurk*
Singer: Hey, I was totally rude to you before but now that you've saved my life let me know if I can ever repay you, by say teaching your daughter how to sing thus finally allowing you to show up her rich new dad.
Super Dad: She totally wants me.

A bunch of stupid shit happens.

Super Dad: Goddamn kid o'mine. She was supposed to call me as soon as she got to Paris. She better not have gotten kidnapped by Albanians again. I better call her myself.
Daughter: Oh good timing Dad, some Albanians just broke into our apartment and are kidnapping us. Here, I'll put him on the phone.
Albanian: **Makes heavy-breathing sexy noises into the phone**
Super Dad: I'm going to fly right over there and kill everybody in Paris right fucking now.
Albanian: OK.

Super Dad flies to Paris. Nobody has died yet.

Super Dad: I guess I'll go to the apartment they were staying and do some CSI shit. Like these strands of hair I just found stuck in a busted mirror... this is the kind of stuff those CSI peoples would put into a bag. I guess I better do the same and then never look at it again because it's way more fun to beat up pimps instead. Also I am psychic now I guess and have the power to see what the audience saw 20 minutes ago in this room but with lots of photoshop blur filters.
Super Dad: Welp, time for somebody to die... I think I'll go to the airport and kill the first Albanian I see.

He does.

Super Dad: That felt good. Oh man, how could I forget to visit my old french friend Mr. Obviously Crooked Cop?
Crooked Cop: Because I am such a good friend, here is a plane ticket out of Paris. Please take it so the movie can end.
Super Dad: Ha Ha, no. I haven't beat up any pimps yet. Besides, I still have to shoot your wife for no reason later.
Crooked Cop: Oh damn he outsmarted us with his elaborate use of cell phones and walkie-talkies. Isn't that like, the oldest trick in the book? How the hell did we even fall for that?
Super Dad: Haha, nubs. OK, time to go beat up some pimps at a construction yard.

A bunch of construction workers and/or pimps die to Vulcan Nerve Punches and/or bulldozers.

Super Dad: That was fun. Now it's time to pretend I'm a cop (wtf) and talk my way into Albanian central.
Albanians: Oh man is it time to pay our Crooked Cop extortion fee again?
Super Dad: Yup. Oh hay, you were the dude on the phone. You just sit there so I can Vulcan Nerve Punch all your friends and body guards and hook you up to a light bulb later.
Albanian: Ouch, I forgot Europe used 220 volts. *Dies*
Super Dad: Sweet, I told him I would kill him and I did. Goddamn I'm awesome- oh yeah rescue the daughter.

A whole bunch of shit happens

Super Dad: Now I can fun as fast as a suped-up Audi Placement. But I can't outrun a slow cruise ship for some reason so I'm going to steal this car and race it to the bridge. Oh man, I bet that ship is going to have so many people to kill on it.
Jabba the Hutt: Blaarrrrggggurrrrp. Hoes, come!
Mini-Boss: Hey, you guys go get the hoes for Jabba; I need to go have a shaky-cam fight scene with the protagonist.
Super Dad: Man, I can't believe I've killed all these dudes and not a single one has managed to shoot me ye-OUCH I just got shot in the arm. That is obviously the mini-boss. I may have to Vulcan Nerve Punch him two, maybe three times.
Mini-Boss: *hurk*
Jubba the Hutt: mumumu- *hurk*
Daughter: Oh sweet, I am saved.